Всё началось с этой гифки

к которой я нашла подпись "LOL he forgot how to dragon". И понеслось.
Сразу пардоны тем, кто не знает английского!

To dragon properly you
1. fly around in circles,
2. breath fire/ice (check your abilities),
3. land when you feel ready to be killed with sword.

To Thalmor properly you
1. deny Talos,
2. know how to handle Talos-worshippers,
3. be awesome.

To guard properly you
1. get an arrow in a knee,
2. do your guard duty,
3. no lollygaggin'.

To Khajiit properly you
1. sell skooma,
2. sneak upon everybody,
3. purr.

To draugr properly you
1. have a sweet dreams in your burial vault,
2. move lubberly when awakened,
3. wheeze, croak and sometimes shout.

To Empire properly you
1. deny Talos,
2. speak with confidence,
3. always wear your armor.

To mudcrab properly you
1. live by the water,
2. atack anything,
3. don't talk to strangers.

Кто продолжит? =)

Говорит Zionka, даю перевод:

To vendor properly you
1. as 've got a sister, sell her in a second,
2. call this treasures, not junk,
3. sell a bit of this and a bit of that.

To horse properly you
1. walk up on vertical slope calmly,
2. atack whatever your master dislikes,
3. die unexpectedly.

To giant properly you
1. make characters fly high, very high,
2. scratch your back with your club,
3. care about your mammoths.